References to The Addams Family sitcom happened at least once a week when I was a kid. Given the fact that I have more hair than a yak and wore glasses as a child, I was often called “Cousin Itt.” In fact, if I flipped my hair over my face and put my glasses on, I was a dead ringer for Itt.
I’m not Itt anymore, though. I’m Uncle Fester. Because after I read some of the anonymous comments by my readers, I’m angry enough that I could stick a lightbulb in my mouth and illuminate the inside of an orangutang.
The biggest charge for me is the suggestion that, until I change my behavior and my attitude, I don’t deserve to be loved. It’s funny, but I remember holding each one of my children for the first time and thinking I loved them just because they were mine. Perfectionism – thinking I had to be perfect in order to earn love – caused me considerable heartache. I gave it up, and I like myself a whole lot better now. If anyone else decides to love me, that’s the double stuff in my Oreo.
The same person told me to stop complaining about my divorce and just “tough it,” while expressing sympathy for my brother because he was “betrayed by his brother-in-law.” Let me tell you something: my brother didn’t have to be tested for HIV, herpes, chlamydia, genital warts, syphilis, gonorrhea, hepatitis, crabs, scabies, and the general skank crud because my husband betrayed him. I did. So save your “he was betrayed” sympathy for him; he doesn’t want it.
Another person questions whether or not I’m even a Christian because my “frequent rants” don’t reflect Christ or His command to love our enemies.
My answer is also my favorite line from Mary Poppins: “I never explain anything.” The reason? Because it’s a stupid question.
I understand that because I grew up in a preacher’s family people expect certain things from me. But I’m not a preacher’s kid any longer, and my blog has nothing to do with my brother’s church. Sure, people from the church read it, and that’s wonderful. I welcome all readers regardless of race, creed, color, religion, national origin, sex, or Facebook status. But I’m writing to entertain. Not to enlighten, preach, teach, or be an example. If you’re entertained, I’ve done my job. If you’re pissed, please, please, please leave a comment! I’ll respond after I’ve let it fester a while.
This article wouldn't be complete without a......
ReplyDeleteduh duh duh duh duh.....snap snap
duh duh duh duh duh.....snap snap
Mission accomplished yet again-I was entertained. And thanks 'Anonymous...'. We just got another blog that is well written, thought provoking, honest, clever, and reflective of what many people internalize. Keep writing Sandpapers.....Fran
ReplyDeletePerfection!!
ReplyDeleteA
Thanks for being so REAL! I'm sure it makes all of us relieved to know that you are just a normal person like the rest of us. Your life is not perfect, as many people might assume because of your upbringing. You are real and suffer just like the rest of us! Thank God!
ReplyDeletePerhaps your writings are part of your therapy...you are working through these issues and letting us all share with you as you do. I've certainly enjoyed reading everything so far!
I love you, Sandi! The best thing I ever learned didn't come from a sermon or Christian school - in fact, it came in spite of them. God loves me just as I am. Faults and all. He's the only one I have to answer to. He's the only one who can judge me. It's so much better (and freeing) to be REAL and who He made me to be... which is pretty damn strange and unique, and I love it. Thank you for sharing so openly. ~ Julie W.
ReplyDeletel think I'll be Gomez! Great response to the legalist. You gotta feel sorry for them. They just can't help themselves. They must insist that everyone live according to their standard, kind of like the talaband.
ReplyDeleteI do not pay for my gated community house or my condo in St. Augustine off the backs of those people who have to hear and receive the "we are broke, give more" letters from a certain institution. And got news for the "freaky and their kooky, their altogether ooky family" you best remember that citizens in Henry County and St. Johns County do not care for foul language or silly rebellious thinking from a spiritually and emotionally immature product of a preacher's house or christian school (because as a whole, they are fundamentalist). Last time I checked, America and it's "tea parties" are sick and tired of their leaders who are not held accountable for the money given to them either by guilt or by legal action are both cynical and pissed to the point of revolt. You are right, you got lucky and married a rich guy who now can support you and your foul, immature mouth. But as for the volunteers that are so greatly needed and useful for much more than your desire to finally earn a dollar for yourself can you shut the heck up and focus on talking about your dogs, bengal cat or whatever? You embarass us!
ReplyDeleteFor the Anonymous poster above ... can you PLEASE speak for yourself and leave the "us" out of it? For someone so outspoken, you sure do enjoy blogging in the shadows. If you don't LIKE what's being said here, why continually come back?
ReplyDelete-Lynn
Dear "Anonymous Commentator",
ReplyDeleteYour "gobbledegook" is boring...and pathetic. Either leave your name ...or leave the site.
Dottie
DKS
Tell the pink building with the now non-matching paint to reveal it's true finances (for the last years) in it's weekly bulletins to it's faithful church folk and perhaps I would be tempted to reveal myself. You in the mean time should focus on how to satisfy the people on a certian low budget airline....
ReplyDeleteDear anonymous,
ReplyDeleteYOU embarrass YOURSELF. It seems that you are really angry at the church anyway, so go bother people there. We are just fine with this "foul-mouthed" lady. WE LIKE WHAT SHE WRITES.
Karen
Oh good grief ... you just can't stop can you? Let's throw rocks at everyone while we're at it!
ReplyDeleteIf you're so curious about the finances, that's YOUR issue. I'm happy with my church and God is meeting my needs just fine thank you very much.n I don't need a balance sheet to feel blessed! As for MY low budget airline ... let me get this straight ... First you were criticizing people with money and now you're throwing off on people who AREN'T as blessed in the cash department? Does ANYONE live up to your standards?
-Lynn (And by the way, my passengers were ALWAYS satisfied with the service I provided. I, unlike some people who remain NAMELESS, am a kind considerate person who strives to let positive things come from my mouth instead of negative.)
If Sandi's "foul-mouthed" and "immature", I shudder to think what I'd be labeled. And the last time I checked (today!), there was more love pouring out of the people of CBC than could be absorbed! It's appalling to me that there are still attitudes and opinions like those expressed by anonymous. (By the way, that's the appropriate way to use an apostrophe in the contraction "it's", which means "it is". "Its" the possessive pronoun has no apostrophe, because it's not a contraction. Gotta jump on the grammar police bandwagon with Lynn.)
ReplyDeleteI agree with Capriccio. I feel the love at CBC as well. If you want to check out how genuine people are and how "real" their love is try being a conservative, middle aged white woman with grown children who marries an strong, outspoken black man. Even my own father turned his back on me - but we BOTH were always welcomed at CBC. Sandi takes her hurt and anger and makes jokes - usually at her own expense. Her critic seems filled with venomous anger that is just boiling within her/him. Seems the critic might feel better if she/he lightened up and let some of that anger go. As far as the finances of the church go - God takes care of stuff like that, you don't even have to worry about it. D.V.
ReplyDeleteOh my! I really have gotten behind and am missing all the blog drama! By the way, you know I LOVE your blog and think each post your write completely out-does (is that even a word?!) the previous one!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd being a PK myself, I LOVE to completely go against the grain of what people EXPECT me to do or how they expect me to behave!
Love you!
TK