It seems the Fundamentalist Police have a warrant out for my arrest. Anonymous has filed a complaint against me for rebellion, alcohol consumption, cursing, crude references to sexual activity, and trying to destroy 40 years’ worth of ministry. For a complete list of the charges, go to http://graceadams-sandpapers.blogspot.com/2010/02/combatting-assholiness.html
She’s right. I’m rebellious. I haven’t washed my hair in three days, and I left my bed unmade this morning.
As for the boozing and bad language, I plead guilty as charged. In fact, just so everyone knows how bad I am, in the past week I’ve had two beers and a glass of cabernet. I’ve said “ass” six times, “shit” twice, and “hump” four times.
Just so we’re clear, I only said the word “hump.” Since I’m not married, I didn’t actually hump. That could get me stoned.
But trying to destroy 40 years’ worth of ministry? I’m not guilty of that. First of all, I wouldn’t do that. I love the church, and I love my family. Secondly, it’s impossible. Thinking I could single-handedly take down that institution is giving myself way too much credit. I’d have to have an ego bigger than my ass to think I was that important. (Dang. I said “ass” again).
Basically, Anonymous wants me to shut the hell up because, in her words, she’s feeling very protective of my brother, seeing as how he must feel so betrayed over the breakup of MY marriage.
This woman drives a tricycle.
She has, however, graciously offered to drop the charges if I will see a counselor on the other side of town and only write things she considers helpful to humanity.
My counselor in Roswell will happily confirm my presence in her office more than fifty times in the past two years. Good thing I sold my soul for money, or I wouldn’t be able to afford the expensive therapy.
And here’s a helpful hint for humanity, something my therapist has been trying to hammer into my head: Don’t let people like Anonymous stop you from telling the truth. For the first thirty-five years of my life, I tried to live up to the impossible standard of being perfect so that no one would ever say the preacher did a bad job of raising his daughter. Quite frankly, perfectionism doesn’t work for me. I’m human. That’s my truth.
Unfortunately, Anonymous appointed herself the judge and jury in my case. She won’t appreciate my truthfulness. And since I’m so unrepentantly trying to hurt my brother, who she feels the need to protect, I’m screwed.
I hope there’s enough spandex on the planet to cover her tricycle-riding ass.
And I hope they serve beer in hell.
Fortune Favors The Bold
3 months ago
You go girl! you're anonymous commentater has the classic extreme fundalmentalist desease affecting the world today. It is found in all religious groups today and was what Christ warned us about. "the letter of the law kills, the Spirit gives life". I have seen more ministries killed by this sickness than any other. In Islam it is destroying world peace, in christianty it destroys churches and especily christian schools. To the person responsible I would say ...GET A LIFE!!!
ReplyDeleteEXTERNALS, EXTERNALS, EXTERNALS!!!!! Where is true LIFE? Isn't Christ in us by faith? If so, aren't we full of LOVE, perfect love that loves self utterly and needs no EXTERNALS of self-righteousness to prove anything to anyone? Your writing is truly serving as "sandpaper", possibly even causing one to observe the speck in one's eye, and has a log in one's own eye! Dear daughter, keep writing, it's your wonderful gift! I adore you, MOM
ReplyDeleteAnonymous gives you an A+!!
ReplyDelete(I always knew my writings gave people the warm, fuzzies....)
Hugs for everyone all around!!
And to clarify one last thing....
ReplyDeleteThe reasoning for my postings were in part due to my knowledge of how some bloggers love to run with negative knowledge about "an entity" and spread it all around...
The recent legal snafu that was picked up and published in a variety of places by some ticked off people with a grudge from ball fields comes to mind.....
And now, you have given more dirt for them (and even gotten the head chief and chiefesse to give their thoughts as well)...
No, you do not have the power by yourself to cause harm, but do not give those who would try to cause harm (not me) ammo...
I am out.....
The more I ponder this, the more I become disillusioned....
ReplyDeleteRead everything that I have written...
And everything that you and now your family has written....
Why would I not feel a sense of protection/loyalty for my pastor and church??
Is that wrong??
Is what I wrote closer to what is taught on a weekly basis to members??
Yes or No??
Or what has been written by you as what should be??
If not, why not??
Tired of being wrong and disillusioned....
No. My mother has never claimed to be a preacher, that's why she doesn't work at the church.
ReplyDeleteAnd YOUR pastor? I'm sure YOUR pastor appreciated your mouth. Shut your fucking trap and maybe have this discussion with beau himself and see if he agrees with what youre writing. Or maybe don't do that-- you wouldn't want to embaress yourself in front of someone you're so obssessed with.
Thanks a lot Sandi, because of your blog now everyone is going to figure out that the pastor's family isn't perfect. We church folk are never going to earn our way to heaven like this! Oh wait, I think Beau and Buford already mentioned that a time or two...or perhaps EVERY SERMON for the last 40 years! If we were all perfect there would be no need for Jesus. Anonymous are you sure that you are taking notes on Sundays?
ReplyDelete-Mustang Sally
Where is the love here? Is that just another ancient 2000 year old concept?
ReplyDeleteYour LL anonymous reader.
I'm kinda' worried about our Anonymous reader. LOTS of questions in that post up there. LOTS of them.
ReplyDeletePerhaps a sinner like me can help you out:
Question 1 & 2: "Why would I not feel a sense of protection/loyalty for my pastor and church? Is that wrong?"
I have no idea ... your use of double negatives confuse the heck out of me.
Question 3 & 4: "Is what I wrote closer to what is taught on a weekly basis to members?? Yes or No??"
Oooh, I know this one ... the answer is "Not JUST no, but HEAVENS no!" What you're writing is a bunch of finger pointing and tongue wagging, "throw the book at em'" type stuff CBC generally saves for the REAL judge, God Himself. Unless you're Him, you're really sort of overstepping your boundaries. We're just a bunch of sinners riding along in the same boat, all heading to the same place with God at the helm. We're all fine until some Anonymous person stands up thanking they have a better idea than God Himself, and starts rocking the boat. Chill out ... we're in good hands. God loves His cargo.
Question 5 & 6: "Or what has been written by you as what should be?? If not, why not??"
You've lost me there. I'm sorry I'm not an English major like Sandi, otherwise I could decipher this question that completely butchered the heck out of the English language ... but since I can't make heads or tails of it, I'll leave this one alone.
My point is ... and I do have one ...
Your rape of the innocent ellipsis breaks my heart. I demand you cease at once. :)
-Lynn
I have nothing but love and respect for the ENTIRE Adams family. They are my friends and Beau is an awesome Pastor, who followed in the footsteps of Buford. Where would I be today if Buford had not had the vision of reaching others for Christ and I had not come to CBC. Don't even want to know. If anonymous is offended, anonymous should not read Sandi's tweets. I consider her a brilliant and phenomenal writer, and very interesting to say the least. Way to go Adams family! Way to go!
ReplyDeletesounds to me like you all have been punk'd into writing a whole buncha stuff that reveals what you would never say around the big pink steeple building with the new paint (and what does that say about you? cause I have been shocked by what I have been reading here for durn shure)
ReplyDeletelet morons post what they will and sandi: fwiw, disable the anonymous feature and then the only people who can post to you are those who you know.
Ok, I just have to jump in now! I mean really!! This is way too much fun! Anonymous is the best thing that could happen to your blog! Sandi you know I think you are a fantastic writer! I love them all and pass your blog around to everyone! But you now have a HATER!! I'm so freaking jealous! Hey Anonymous, come on over to my column. I write about Love and SEX!! Sandi, a HATER is your first sign of doing it right!! I can't tell you how proud I am of you Sandi for hitting a nerve with someone so bad that they continue to post over and over again trying to explain themselves on your blog, thereby bringing you more traffic!
ReplyDeleteBravo Anonymous!
Keep making them uncomfortable Sandi! You rock my friend!
Love you!
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Sandi...
ReplyDeleteI MUST "re-iterate" your dad's comment..."YOU GO GIRL!" What else is there left to say except that I support you 100%..And, for what it's worth Sandi, I never really said this to you when we were growing up b/c I'm not sure I knew how to or had the courage to, but want you to know that I've ALWAYS looked up to you, respected and admired you!
You are an AWESOME writer....Hang in there girlfriend and Keep em' coming regardless of what anyone says or thinks!!! PamL.
First, a disclaimer: I understand that arguments aren't won nor hearts changed in blog comments. Nevertheless, I sincerely hope that my remarks are received in the same spirit offered.
ReplyDeleteIt's interesting to see cries of "externals, externals, externals!" as though somehow actions can be separated from a heart of faith. Sure, good deeds can never determine our fate before God, but they most certainly are an outward demonstration of an inward reality. (You know, that whole "a tree is known by its fruit" gibberish from Jesus.)
I know it's easy (and fun too!) to mock and condemn self-righteous fundamentalists. Christ did it with a remarkable deftness - probably with a nice, full-bodied red wine in one hand. But we toss around passages like "the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life" forgetting that Scripture also has some pretty clear - and decidedly harsh - things to say about those who mistake Christian liberty for a license to live and speak as they please. (And this ain't about a stiff drink and a little cussin'.)
I obviously don't know your heart, Sandi, but I can read your words. Jesus said that "out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks." And what I hear from you - passed off as some noble, newly discovered authenticity (or "keepin' it real" to your blind followers) - shouts a whole load of stuff (shit, if you prefer) that can never be mistaken for Christian grace, forgiveness and love. That shouldn't be so for anyone who professes Christ as Lord. Or do you?
Seriously, I'd love to hear your take on how your words here comport with Paul's description of the new life in Ephesians 4 and 5 or Colossians 3. (Hint: Don't look to Eph 4:29-32 or Col 3:8 for much support.) Better yet, please tell me how your frequent rants - entertaining as they are - in any way reflect Christ or his command to love your enemies.
I understand the hurt -- I really do. I've been on the giving and receiving end of similar pain, and my little brain can't find the words for the grief, anger and disappointment. But the good news is, well, the Good News.
Jesus Christ didn't enter this mess to help us look pious to the church crowd, or leave us in despair at our inability to meet an "impossible standard of being perfect." Christ came to redeem the most unredeemable of sinners and situations, and grant peace, rest and real life to weary and humble souls. Even yours. Even your rotten ex-'s. There's nothing more hopeful, more empowering than that! But, of course, you know those facts already.
Anyway, thanks for humoring me. I see how disagreement and criticism are normally handled here, so let the ridicule, scathing responses and name calling commence.
To the poster above who posted this:
ReplyDelete"sounds to me like you all have been punk'd into writing a whole buncha stuff that reveals what you would never say around the big pink steeple building with the new paint"
Sad how some people need to stay away from posting on the internet.
Sad how supposedly the church is blue jeans, come as you are, seeker friendly and apparently forgiveness for a whole host of indiscretions (according to all of the love rants read here) but yet that school is uniforms only (you dress up fancier for school at church than going to church?) and I would love to get the headmaster's opinion on how he would handle the trash that has been written by the graduates of that school and soon to be graduate. Is that school as accepting of drinking, cussing, etc. What grade do they teach you to cuss like that anyway?
I dare anyone who has posted any of their words that they "would never say at church or school" on any of these blogs to repeat your words in a sermon "series" or a meeting of the parents for that school.
That is what "reality" would be. Anything el$e is glorified hypocri$y.
I don't know which I liked more...the blog or the comments! Some of these "anonymous commentators" need to lay off the bongs.
ReplyDeleteGreat writing, Sandi.
The assumption seems to be from some of these comments that the only people reading or responding to this blog and thread are those that attend said church and school. Lots of finger pointing by those calling out for "reality" among the masses, yet you still go anonymous yourself. Hmmmm. You assume that your values should be everyones. I find the hypocrisy in that quite amusing and the assumptions very narcissistic. The length to some of these responses suggest perhaps you'd rather hijack Sandi's blog rather than have the guts to write your own.
ReplyDeleteJust some things to think about.
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I do not pay for my gated community house or my condo in St. Augustine off the backs of those people who have to hear and receive the "we are broke, give more" letters from a certain institution. And got news for the "freaky and their kooky, their altogether ooky family" you best remember that citizens in Henry County and St. Johns County do not care for foul language or silly rebellious thinking from a spiritually and emotionally immature product of a preacher's house or christian school (because as a whole, they are fundamentalist). Last time I checked, America and it's "tea parties" are sick and tired of their leaders who are not held accountable for the money given to them either by guilt or by legal action are both cynical and pissed to the point of revolt. You are right, you got lucky and married a rich guy who now can support you and your foul, immature mouth. But as for the volunteers that are so greatly needed and useful for much more than your desire to finally earn a dollar for yourself can you shut the heck up and focus on talking about your dogs, bengal cat or whatever? You embarass us!
ReplyDelete